Inspiring Journey Of Rita Gangwani
Lieut. Rita Gangwani (Former Officer-Indian Army) is the Founder and Director at Sashes and Crowns Pageantversity, and Rita Gangwani & Associates Grooming consultants. She earned her laurels as the foundation coach of Miss World 2017 Manushi Chhillar and Miss Teen Universe Srishti Kaur. Rita is a Personal Development Coach, pageant coach, an expert corporate Trainer, an author, FM radio speaker, Newspaper and Magazine columnist honored with many prestigious national and International awards like Rajiv Gandhi Lifetime Achievement and National award by Journalist Association of India among many others.
Given Below is the full text of Rita Gangwani’s Speech at Josh Talks:-
“Everyone likes the sound of applause, but my first question to you is – what is life?”
So many people have raised their hands. Life has a different meaning for each person.
Some say life is a race others say, life is a journey.
Some say life is stressfully so life has different meaning for every other person.
And today I will tell your life related things on how you can see your life in different form.
Hi, I am Rita Gangwani… retired army officer, motivational speaker and a pageant coach.
So the first story I will tell you is my life story and then I will tell you 5 facts of life. How do you actually become balanced? I am not saying successful because balanced is the first thing which will lead you to success.
So I will start with my story, you can see I am 4 feet 10 inches. I am not very tall. When I was in school, I was very good in studies till 6th or 7th. Till one fine day I realized every girl had grown taller than me, I was still the same.
I used to fight with my friends on what do you do, what do you eat that you are growing tall. Whatever they used to tell me… I used to drink 10 bottles of height increasing tonics in the night… in the hope of increased height the next morning.
Alas, I accepted I am short heighted but people called me names – chhutki, mini road roller, and dwarf.
Though I laughed on this but it pained my heart, “why me?”
I had big dreams I belonged to small town – Shimla but had big dreams. I wanted to be an air hostess, my dream was to become a model, an actor… But how?
4 feet 10 inches in school, no one took me in sports because of my short height. In school plays though I wanted a leading role but people used to say that I will get only servant’s role. All this felt really bad. I thought I can’t do anything in life even my parents thought so.
Today, people have opportunities but back then the scenario was not the same. So at that time, when I went to college, Amitabh ji was very famous.
Amitabh Bachchan’s Zanjeer was released and every guy used to dress like his character. Naturally, the first guy I saw in college was like Amitabh Bachchan. I fell in love with this guy. So what used to happen was I stood outside the gate at 7 pm to see the boy on what he was wearing. And I would wear the same combo as his in the hope that he will see me. But this didn’t happen and it broke my heart every day.
So my friends asked me to tell him about this in some way or the other that you like him. So we found a middleman and asked him to tell the boy that I liked him. Next day I was waiting, fully dressed, that someone will come with the answer.
The middleman came with an answer and he said that boy recognizes you as short height girl who neither has a pretty face nor brains. Can you imagine that you already have a low self-esteem, low confidence and this rejection by the first boy I liked, first step outside my comfort zone, and you face such a big rejection? It actually killed my inside. I thought I can’t do anything in life. Where ever I used to go, people made fun of me because of my height.
There was one time in my life when I thought of committing suicide. I believed I was a disgrace to the society. I tried to find ways to die. Even tried cutting my wrists but it wasn’t successful because maybe there was a purpose to my life. Maybe I could encourage people with my height. I should encourage them to understand things in life. And then one of my teachers, I’m very grateful to her.
She invited me to her place and showed me a 100 rupee note and asked what it was. I said ma’am it’s a currency. She asked how much change it will get. I said, “Ma’am 100 for 100”.
Then she crushed the note and asked the same question. I replied with the same answer. 100 rupees Then she made it little dirty and asked how much change, again. I replied 100, again.
Ma’am said this is what I want you to understand here. That I crushed and stained the brand new note but its value is 100 and that has remained to be 100 its value hasn’t changed. That’s it. This is the formula of life. People will try to push you down. People will break you. People will not let you move forward in life. But does that change the value your life has? No. She told me to know your worth. Do not make other people’s beliefs your reality and that sentence was the turning point of my life. I realized that I had stopped loving myself. I had accepted that I was small, because when you start saying it… I’m sure all of us here do that standing in front of the mirror some want good hair, some want good facial features. Everyone has their own system. So when you stand and speak to the mirror who is the first listener? You are the who listens first and when you listen, imagine how bad your soul would be feeling.
What you need is to pat you own self that wow you’re the best person and the same thing happened with me. I used to think so low about myself whereas I just needed to accept who I am. I just need to remember that I am here for a purpose and that was a changing point of my life when I decided to do something no one has done before and what I did, I applied for Indian Army and I got into the MNS corps of the Indian Army and came out to be the first lady officer from Himachal Pradesh.
The only purpose behind sharing my story with you is that color, looks, height doesn’t make any difference. What is inside you will take you…
A diesel vehicle won’t work with petrol and vice versa. It won’t work. Life is like that. If you fill yourself with negativity with unwanted things, No one can help you grow in life.
What you need to understand is 5 rules which I’m gonna tell you today. 5 rules of this living world:
First- Accept yourself. However you are… whoever you are… you were made for a purpose. So instead of looking at the entire negative thing as something which is not good for you, turn your negatives into positives.
Now look how I turned my negatives into positives. Through my profession and now the profession which was my passion, I’m taking it forward and teaching people and lot of people get inspired. And today if anyone points out that I’m short, my answer to that is that” “I’m not short. I’m as much under the ground as I am above it.”
I was talking about the 5 rules First rule- Accept yourself. When you learn to love yourself when you learn to hug yourself you’ll get back as much as you give. So the first thing is to accept yourself.
Second most important lesson that I would like to share is that never compare yourself to anyone. Does anyone here have equal fingers? No, right? No one here has. So if the five fingers are not equal but each has its own importance. just like that, everyone in this world is different you check your tongue impression or your thumb impression. Everyone is different. You are a designer piece God has created. Why not, create your own designer life. That is most important. Forget what other people are.
Leave the thought that someone is doing better than you. What you remember is that I am unique I am a designer piece and this is what my life is and revolve your life around this.
Third important thing everything is instant today. Instant coffee… instant Maggi, everything is instant. And people youngsters specially are looking for instant success … Frankly, friends even if you get instant success. It doesn’t stay. What you must remember is to find success, you need to go baby steps take small steps… nothing actualizes out of the bloom, Even a baby is first born. He crawls slowly, then he learns to walk… then he goes to school, college… Everything happens according to time.
The fourth is carve your own destiny. I remembered a very beautiful story from my own life. Take notice again. Now I say it with pride, I am just 4 feet 10 inches. But, when I was about to get married. So, someone from my family said it by mistake that the girl isn’t good looking, is short and weird. And that again became a challenge in my life. I needed to prove myself, I saw a lot of posters In Himachal, there was a Himachal Queen contest being conducted.
And I thought to myself, in this competition only the tallest girls will participate. I have no chances, but still I took the risk, I went for that competition. But before going to the competition, I went to a coach. Who I already knew little facts that I am small and fat she added 50 more to that list. Your teeth are crooked, your eyes are uneven your hair are not good. So there was a huge list which I had to work upon. And if I were to work on that huge list, the contest would give over by that time.
And then I decided to figure it out by myself, if there is something within me, I will surely get rewarded. And then I worked very hard on myself went for Himachal Queen Contest. And can you believe what, I got the Himachal Crown of 1982.
For those who think that in order to get into a contest you need to be beautiful- No,
Intelligence, presence of mind and the desire is necessary. The fire that I need to achieve something from the feel good good factor, if you shift towards the looking good factor, Then you will never be able to move forward in life.
You need to feel good, you don’t have to look good. If God has created you good, it’s great. But don’t take as the ultimate goal that looking good is the only goal I have in life. No, being a good human is also essential.
The fifth point is Be a good human being. Be a good human being, don’t judge people. Look around and be a good human being. I would like to narrate a small story once again, that in the neighborhood, there was a new resident. The neighbor would wash his clothes and dry them on the line. From one view, the new family would see from their windowsill while the clothes were being dried and discuss among themselves about the yellowness of the clothes and judge that the neighbor doesn’t know how to wash clothes. He probable doesn’t know about Neel and Surf and all washing medium. We’ll have to teach him how to wash white clothes. Many days passed by, One day when the lady looked out from her window, she saw that all the clothes were shining. She ran into her house and announced the neighbors clothes are shining. I think they have learnt how to wash clothes.
Friends, what did her husband say: “No, it isn’t like that? This morning itself, I cleaned the window panes”. So this is the problem we become judgmental. The dirt is within us.
And if we see the world through that dirt, then everything will seem bad. What you need to do is to dust your own self. When you dust your own self, you will be able to see life more clearly.
So do not ever let your little thoughts… Don’t ever let your dreams die…
I told you, I aspired to become an air hostess a model, an actress. It’s alright, God didn’t give it to me directly gave it indirectly. A lot of times you don’t get to travel a straight path but an indirect path. But what God has given me: Today, I teach models and film stars. I couldn’t become an air hostess, but I teach air hostesses today. So dreams do come true.
So don’t keep your dreams bottled within yourself… Learn to live your dreams, express themselves… Very important is, until and unless you don’t take action, Life is yours…
You came alone to this world, and you will leave alone. Learn to survive alone. You have to take charge of your own life. Learn to support yourself. Try and understand what you want to do in life… Nobody else will win your life for you…
And taking you through a small ‘sher’:
“Wakt wakt ki bat hai ki, wakt nahi badalta,
Warna wakt ke badalne me wakt hi kitna lagta hai…
Wakt baar baar milta hai zindagi badalne ke liye,
Lekin yeh zindagi baar baar nahi milti wakt badalne ke liye”
(“It is a matter of time, that time doesn’t change It is a matter of time, that time doesn’t change Otherwise, how much does it take for time to change.
You get time, every time… to alter your life, but this life isn’t offered time and again, to alter time.)
So recognize this moment, and I hope each and every one finds their dreams the way I found myself…
Video Link of Rita Gangwani Speech at Josh Talks: